Perspective

On Friday, May 8th, my brother got married. Caleb has been my role model since I was a little kid, and I love him with all my heart. His now-wife, Manuela (we call her Manu) is amazing. Absolutely amazing. If you ever get to hear their story told by one of them, you have to listen to it. It’s a God-filled, Disney-sort of love story that fills the soul and most definitely raises high expectations for anyone that is single. What little I am going to share about it does not do justice for how crazy their story is.

Several years ago (I think maybe three), my brother joined the YWAM team in Louisville, Kentucky with a friend. Why he decided to live in Kentucky of all places, I will never know. If you don’t know, they have a YWAM base in Hawaii. Obviously that’s what I would do, but that’s me, so….

Anyway, they met. And when they were traveling together in India, they started to notice feelings for each other and such. But YWAM has these rules where you can’t date, so it was kind of a forbidden love type of thing. Which, you know, that’s the stuff of fairytales and all of that, so cool.

They started dating last year in April when she came to live with my family for the month, and then she went back to her home in Columbia. A few months later my brother proposed to her, and then she came in December to visit for the month. And then things got crazy again.

I wasn’t here for all of what happened. In fact, I was in Mexico, nowhere near Pennsylvania. However, I was quickly informed that Manu got stuck in the United States and wasn’t able to go back home. I was surprised to hear that. The reason for this is because she either had to go back to Columbia, where my brother would not see her another year or few, or they had to get married as soon as possible.

So they shot for April. Then COVID-19 happened, and then they had to postpone their wedding. Meanwhile this awesome girl is stuck with the most chill family ever, with honestly having nothing to do.

Then last week, like on Tuesday, they came to me to let me know they were getting married on Friday. It got crazy super fast for a week to get ready for the wedding, but we accomplished it as a team! And now they are happily married.

I am so blessed by the fact that I have been able to see their relationship build through all of this. In fact, it’s made me change my perspective a lot for my future.

I admire how they have overcome these challenges. Honestly, it’s been a whirlwind for everyone these past few months. But from the beginning of their friendship to the beginning of their marriage, it’s been really hard for them. Even though they have each other, some of the things that they endured over these past two or three years was really hard, and they ended up making a lot of sacrifices.

I’m going to be vulnerable with you. For close to about a year now I’ve been asking a lot of questions and doubting my ability to hear the answers. It’s always because I either didn’t trust myself that I could hear the right answer or I just downright didn’t like the answer I was hearing. And these were answers coming from listening to the Holy Spirit–through numbers, verses, and even through some of most favorite people at the Mission. I just didn’t want to listen because I the answers didn’t align with what I wanted at the moment.

But God’s been sharing something with me. It’s all about perspective. It has taken longer than I wish it has taken, but a lot of the time I forget to look at my situations like God sees it–whether it’s with finances, relationships, or honestly anything in my life. I forgot that even if I can’t see the answer from right where I am, there is always an answer. God has the answer.

I finished reading a book a few weeks ago by Bill Johnson. I didn’t know why I was reading it in the first place, because it only talked about His Goodness. Of course He’s good–I would never doubt that. However, it opened my eyes to remembering a few things. It changed my perspective once again.

I am waiting for a breakthrough in my life. I won’t lie–I keep forgetting to trust in His goodness and remember what He has done in my life. If He has done it once, He will do it again. These past few days, something happened that caused a lot of hurt in me, even though I didn’t realize it until yesterday.

But there was one thing that stuck in my head. That phrase of “And yet, God is good.”

I did not know something that small of a phrase could become so significant in my life. I have never had many issues doubting the goodness of God, but sometimes I struggle with wanting answers or immediate gratification over things that genuinely need time and trust in God. Or I would be confused. Most of the time I’m confused when I look at things from my perspective.

And, you know what? Sometimes it was to the point where it really hurt to trust in His perspective. Two weeks ago, God asked me to give up something that was really special and important to me–something that made me feel seriously loved by someone. It was a gift, and although it may have seemed like something really small, I actually fought with God for two hours over having to give it away because it meant so much to me, and everyone had been telling me before to keep it for myself.

To me, it was an indicator that God was finally fulfilling His promise. But, again, I wasn’t seeing His perspective.

And although I may not always see His perspective, I know that He’s looking at me with that perspective. I know He’s smiling at me from Heaven even though I doubt His timing or question why something is worth persevering for. I know that He answers all of my questions whether I want to hear the answer or not. I know that He keeps His promises, and even if I haven’t seen the answer to all the promises yet, He wouldn’t ever break them.

He’s not a bad Dad, or forgetful. In fact, God is the best Father anyone will ever have.

Sometimes I forget to look back on the promises He has fulfilled. Just last night I walked into my room, and stopped and just stared at it. Up until about two years ago I had to share a room always either with my older or younger sister. I hated it. And I don’t hate a lot–trust me. Ever since I was a little kid I prayed for Jesus to provide me with a really cool bedroom that would be mine and mine alone.

If y’all haven’t seen my room, it’s amazing. And I don’t have to share it with anyone.

I worked at Tropical Smoothie Cafe for an entire year. Once I left, I really missed smoothies. Now there are two blenders in my house, after asking for two years.

I asked for a dog for over ten years. Two years ago, my sister brought a dog home after my grandma’s funeral, and it’s been one of my best friends ever since.

I asked God to send me on an adventure without having to be around any of my family–just for the experience and all. Then I came to the Mission to live in Mexico without my family. In fact, I was over 2,000 miles away from them.

His name is Jehovah-Jireh–the Lord who will provide. This week I asked Him to remind me of the promises He has fulfilled–no matter how stupidly small they may seem. He’s helped a lot to remind me.

I’m sorry that this post seems completely scattered from beginning to end, but let me end by saying this. He never forgets His promises. You might. I know I have. But He never will. It may take perseverance and patience with some promises–just like with Manu and Caleb–but if you see it from His perspective, it’s always worth whatever it costs.