Trust

These past few months have gone by pretty quick, but they are not without their lessons. Well, not necessarily lessons, but God has definitely been showing me areas where I thought I was “sufficient” and it turns out I wasn’t. One of those areas was trusting He’d take care of me. Like, trusting Him.

One of the leaders here–we call him Papa Ken–talks a lot about this through using the phrase “Hakuna Matata.” He reminds me and my classmates that we really don’t need to worry–that we are supposed to live free from that. And it’s easier said than done, as we have all experienced at least once in our lives.

But every time he highlights that, or talks about it, something stirs inside of me. It’s like it’s important or something. And it turns out, it is.

One of my spiritual gifts is faith. Like, faith in God and all of that fun stuff. It’s easy for me to rely on Him, and I’ve been like that ever since I was a kid. I only realized recently that sometimes, especially with the important things in my life, I don’t put all of my trust in Him. 

For the last few weeks, I have been really stressing out about several things, especially with finances. I realized that was something I really have not been giving to God. I was anxious about not having enough money to get groceries that week, and also things about my finances for tuition, and… you know, fun stuff. 

Do you wanna know what I did? I started praying about it, giving it to God. I went to an area where no one was, and I literally yelled, “Papa, help! I literally can’t even anymore! If you wanted me here in Mexico, help me!”

I’m pretty sure He laughed–you know, how all good parents do before they help.

I kid you not–two hours later, I was working in the coffee shop we have at Rancho, and I got enough tips to last for two weeks worth of groceries. We never have that many tips.

And you know what else I’ve noticed. Every time I am out of food, or I am hungry, somehow food randomly appears for me. Like, sometimes I ask for it, but other times people randomly give me food, or the exact thing that I was craving that day.

In fact, in February, there was one day where I was just down. I was exhausted, and I was missing one of my close friends from last trimester of school that decided not to return to school. And a classmate walked up to me (I was outside in front of the Mission building). I was not in the mood to talk, so I kind of tried to ignore him, when all of the sudden he dropped a Chik-Fil-A bag on my lap. He freaking gave me Chik-Fil-A for free.

Not gonna lie, I did cry as soon as he left.

That’s actually the moment I remembered that God knows my needs, and He does hear me when I talk to Him, and He replies. Not to mention He is the perfect gift-giver.

There have been several verses He has also highlighted to me these past few weeks. These include Proverbs 3:5-6, which says, “Trust in the LORD with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, submit to Him, and He will lead you on straight paths.”

And also Matthew 6:25-37, where Jesus teaches, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass, which is here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, will he not much more clothe you–you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans runs after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.”

So, hakuna matata. And, yes, trust is still something I am working on, especially in places like community, but I realized that I can give my needs to God, and He provides for it all. I really can live a worry-free life, and so can you.